An Entomologist's Twelve Days of Christmas
by Stephanie Bailey,
Entomology Extension Specialist
Wouldn't it be a great Christmas if your true love gave you:
- 12 nets a-sweeping
- 11 points for pinning
- 10 hives a-humming
- 9 black lights trapping
- 8 Florissant fossils
- 7 scouts a-sampling
- 6 pair of forceps
- 5 field guides
- 4 spreading boards
- 3 berlese funnels
- 2 cornell drawers
- ...And a bug in a killing jar!
12 BUGS OF CHRISTMAS
by Stephanie Bailey
If "The Twelve Days of Christmas" seems to be wearing a little thin
this year, consider a new rendition:
- A Japanese beetle on a pear tree.
- Two turtle bugs
- three frittilaries
- four calling cicadas
- five goldeneye lacewings
- 6 borers boring
- 7 stinkbugs smelling
- 8 bees a buzzing
- 9 fleas a leaping
- 10 damsels dancing
- 11 mantids praying
- 12 crickets strumming
WISHING YOU ALL AN UN-PESTIFEROUS CHRISTMAS
by Stephanie Bailey
Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the house,
lots of creatures were stirring, not the least was a mouse
Our stockings were hung by the chimney with care
We all hoped the roaches would just leave them there.
I tucked in the kids, they were snug in their beds,
but had visions of lice crawling up on their heads.
Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap,
had just reset all of our sure-catch mousetraps.
Suddenly, outside quite a racket ensued
But above all that noise I could make out a dude-
He called out strange names such as Dancer and Blitzen
I'd swear I was having acute toxic symptoms!
From the roof we heard sounds of skids, bumps and twirls.
I turned and said, "Dear, we have got MUTANT squirrels!"
The next thing I knew, as I sorted it out,
Some guy in a red suit slid down the rain spout.
"That chimney of yours," he said with a grin,
"is so full of birds I can't even get in.
"I've come to help with your pests that won't die
Now, don't you worry, I've been certified!"
The man came prepared, I could see from his sack,
His baits, sprays and foam were all poised for attack.
He spoke not a word but with all the right moves,
Had pest-proofed our home not a minute too soon.
He left us instructions for future distress
Though his awesome skills, I shall never possess.
He shook my hand, then returned to his sleigh,
Checked his reindeer for fleas, then he went on his way.
But I heard him exclaim as they flew out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all...don't let the bedbugs bite!
Ann Pass' second grade class at Lansdowne Elementary in
Lexington, KY, USA
came up with the following gifts for a list of insects she gave
Cucumber beetle Automatic slicer
Aphid (sucking insect) Pacifier
Fly Flyswatter shield
Colorado potato beetle Trip to Ireland
Hornet Pencil sharpener for stinger
Flea New puppy
Honey bee Jars for honey
Lightning bug Lantern
Ladybird beetle Spot remover
Praying mantis New Bible
Katydid Tape recorder
Cricket Ear muffs (to drown out noise)
Dragonfly Flame thrower
Green bottle fly Ectoplasm
Stink bug Deodorant
Fruit fly Banana
Tobacco hornworm French horn
Termite Lincoln logs
Cockroach Garbage can
Bumble bee Kazoo
Pillbug Pill box
Rove beetle Road map
Sap beetle Smart pills
Skipper butterfly Jump rope
Mud dauber Trowel
Digger wasp Spade
Cigarette beetle Ash tray
Warble fly Song book
Foreign grain beetle Citizenship papers
Wheel bug Spare tire
Diving beetle Scuba gear
Drone fly Singing lessons
Nut weevil Nut cracker
Sawtoothed grain beetle Tooth caps