I Am

Katie looked into her rearview mirror, anticipating the red Caviler’s next move as it approached on her right side. The driver was a younger looking woman with her light brown hair whipped-up into a bun. Katie noticed the other driver fumbling with something in the passenger seat. I hate it when drivers don’t pay attention.

Katie stepped on the gas a little harder as she saw the Caviler swerve slightly. She thought she was in the clear, until she approached a dark brown Chevy truck that was driving significantly slower than the speed limit. She stepped on her brakes as the cars to her right, including the swaying Cavalier, passed her one by one. "Damn. Come on... MOVE," she said, shifting her head rhythmically from the rearview mirror, to the side mirror, over her right shoulder, and back again until the right lane became free. Once she passed the brown truck, she zoomed by the cars that had just passed her and was again side by side with the red Cavalier. It slowly and unintentionally drifted into her lane, missing her by inches as she accelerated to avoid contact; and slammed her palm into the horn. The woman with the light-brown bun looked up and forced herself back into her own lane as she held up an apologetic hand. Katie nodded in acknowledgment and drove on through the yellow light.

Katie took a deep, slow breath and smiled affectionately at the dark blue dash. That was a close one Betsy, I’d hate it if somebody put an ugly ole dent in you. She relaxed a little and let the wind blow her long, red, curly locks back from her face. It was one of those hot, humid days when the air-conditioning didn’t make a difference and everything was wet and sticky from sun-up to sun-down. It’ll be nice to run through the sprinklers or take a quick dip in Mrs. Hunter’s pool when I get home.

Unfamiliar cars surrounded her block. That’s weird. She grabbed the knob by her left knee and twisted, rolling up her window. After gently closing the door, she stroked the roof of the car, smiling to herself for a minute before turning around and entering the house.

"Oh good, you’re back," her mother said. "Get the vegetable tray ready please, Ruth and Bill are coming for dinner. Want to join us?" Katie watched her add the fried onions to the top of the still raw green bean casserole. Her chin length, light red hair was tousled and hung down around her face. She kept forcing pieces behind her ears, but they wouldn’t stay. The humidity made it two inches shorter and completely out of control on days like this.

"I wanted to relax and maybe go for a quick swim next door or something." Please don’t make a big deal out of this.

"That’s fine, but Mrs. Hunter’s family is in. She won’t mind but- " she hesitated, wondering if she should continue.

"But what?"

"--she...um...she has a few nieces and nephews there, and their kids are about your age. She wants you to go over and meet them," her mother said hopefully, watching her daughter’s face change from curious to nervous.

"Oh. How long are they here." Great.

"I’m not sure Katie, but you might have fun--quit gnawing on your finger nails!"

"Maybe, but that’s OK, I’ll just run through the sprinklers or something, I’m so hot I can’t get enough air." She twisted her hair around her finger, then tied it into a knot, letting her neck breathe.

"Katie, hunny, you know she won’t mind you swimming there. She treats you like her own granddaughter."

"Mom, I’m not going over there while she has company. I’ll just find something else to do to cool me off. Maybe I’ll call Erica.

"That’ll be the day."

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"You never hear from her when she has a boyfriend You need to meet new people."

"Thanks Mom, it’s good to know that you have so much faith in me. I’m sure if I stayed for dinner with your friends, the problem would be solved."

"Well, interacting with people couldn’t hurt you. This is ridiculous. Do whatever you want."

I would have anyway. "Gee thanks."

On her way up the stairs, Katie heard laughing and stopped at the window on the landing to watch Mrs. Hunter with her relatives. They were all out front. Mrs. Hunter and two older people sat on the porch talking and laughing while two teenage looking people were out front tossing a Frisbee around. She looked toward the pool in the back, slightly sticking her head out the window and noticing no one was there. Perfect! No one will notice if I go over there now. She ran up the second set of plushy, dirty gray carpet, whizzed into her room, found her suit, put it on along with some boxers and a blue tank. She ran by the bathroom, grabbed a towel and made her way back down the stairs, through the family room, and out the back door.

Once outside, she looked around cautiously inspecting the area for unfamiliar faces. She opened the metal fence and quietly closed it behind her. She checked again and didn’t see anyone by the pool or on the screened-in porch. Katie finally let her guard down as she walked over to the yellow chair at the far end of the pool. After throwing her light blue beach towel onto the chair, she peeled off her boxers and tank, revealing her long slinky body, and dark, chocolate brown bathing suit. Everyone always told her that her legs were too thin, and she hated wearing shorts and skirts because she was self-conscious about them. That’s why she always loved swimming over at Mrs. Hunter’s--no one ever saw her.

She walked over to the edge of the deep end facing the back porch. She stood there for a minute dipping her toes in to see how chilly the water was. It was cooler than she thought. Ooh that feels good. Next, she untied the loose knot that kept her hair up before she dove into the cold, clear water. She went down diagonally, letting the water swallow her; allowing the sensation of weightlessness to overcome her body. She sank until she lost momentum, then forced herself through the layers that waited below. She swam across the length of the pool along the bottom. Once she surfaced she yelled out, "Wooo Wee this feels good!" Before the sun had a chance to soak up the water on her face, she began doing back-stroke laps. During her fifth lap she got a cramp and stopped at the shallow end.

She didn’t want to get out just yet, so she did a few forward flips and then a couple of sloppy handstands. Her stomach began to growl and she looked up toward her house. A full meal does sound good. She decided to do one more back flip before getting out. She held her nose with one hand and took a hard jump backward with all of her might, arching her back and using her left arm to help propel her in the right direction. A thick, dark wall of red greeted her when she opened her eyes. She started giggling at how ridiculous she must have looked. It probably wasn’t even that funny, but she couldn’t stop laughing. It’s a good thing no one’s out here, otherwise I would be making quite ruckus, she thought as she continued to laugh. Making her way to the ladder didn’t help either. It was impossible to rid her mind of her own image. I must look like cousin It from the Addams Family, she thought, laughing out louder than before. As she walked toward the stairs, she held her right arm out in front of her and used it to flip her hair back behind her. Holding her nose with her left hand, she let her head fall back into the water, smoothing her hair flat against her head and down past her mid back.

Katie was still laughing as she pulled herself out of the water when she heard another voice laughing along with hers. She stopped and looked for the voice. Someone’s here. She looked frantically at the entire pool area, from corner to corner to corner to corner.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you," said the voice.

Katie turned toward the screened-in porch and squinted. She could make out a figure behind a plant in the far corner.

"How long have you been there?" she asked nervously.

"Since you got here," the voice replied, still amused.

"Why didn’t you say something,"

"I didn’t realize you wanted me to."

"I’ll be out of here in a second." The droplets of water began to sizzle on her body. "I just have to get my stuff." She walked over, grabbed her things and made her way to the gate.

"You don’t have to rush on my account," the voice said, sounding a little closer.

Katie heard the screen door slam as she darted for her towel. I can’t believe this is happening. I just wanted to cool off and be alone. The slippers were making their way toward her. She was too hesitant to turn around, but she knew she had to.

"You must be Katie, my Great-aunt talks about you all the time, it’s nice to finally put a face with all the stories," the voice said as she turned around, still looking at the ground.

"That’s me. Uhh... I’m sorry I don’t mean to be rude, but I have to get back home."

"No offense, but I do think that’s rude. Here you are, swimming in a pool that I know isn’t yours, I tell you that I know who you are and it’s Okay, yet you can’t seem to get away from me fast enough. Excuse me if I wanted to introduce myself if you could spare me a second."

Katie’s eyes moved up from his white coed naked hockey T-shirt, past his stubbly chin, up to his brown eyes. She calmed down a little, took a step back from him, and inhaled deeply. You’re being stupid, calm down. "I’m sorry, let’s try this again, I’m Katie."

"Now that’s better, I’m Luke. I didn’t mean to upset you, and you obviously want to leave, so I’ll just see you around." He put his hand in the air and gave her a little salute and walked away.

She watched him go. He must think I’m the biggest bitch. She shook her head in disappointment with herself and walked back through the gate, toward her house.

Katie impatiently tapped her fingers on the steering wheel while she waited for the light to turn green. These radio stations suck, she thought as she pushed button after button, looking for something to satisfy her mood. Yes. Guns-n-Roses, ‘Paradise City.’ The light turned green and the person in front of her wasn’t paying attention.

Come on, wake-up. Beeeep. That’s more like it. The car finally sped up enough for her to get in front of the beige Accord to her left, zooming on without any interference.

She pulled into the Lakeside Coffee Shop parking lot, pulled her backpack out, and walked around the outside all the way to the back. She was met by a pink-yellow-orange sky, and the sun was half-covered by the water and half exposed to its audience. Katie headed for her usual table, the closest one she could find to the water. She sat with her back to everyone else, not noticing anything other than the glimmering pathway the sun made on the water that led directly to her table.

She pulled out her notebook and pen and began to write letters when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up expecting to see a waiter but found a familiar face in a waiter’s uniform instead.

"Hey, Katie, right?"

"Uh, yeah." I think his name is Kevin something. "You’re in one of my classes right?"

He used his hand to block the sun’s glare off the water. "Yep, Sociology. I haven’t seen you here before."

"I come whenever I can, I love the view," Katie replied, fidgeting a little.

"I know, they’re classic here." Both were mesmerized by the hypnotic waves.

"I usually come here to clear my head and be alone."

"Oh. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone, I’ll just take your order if you want anything."

"No, I didn’t mean it that way," she said as her hands began to shake. "You have to understand that my foot permanently resides in my mouth. I’m very good at saying what’s on my mind without thinking first." I really am a Bitch.

"Don’t worry about it, what can I get ya?

"Mocha coffee please."

"I’ll be right back with that."

"Thanks." She watched him walk inside until the soothing sound of the water hitting the rocks captured her attention. It stinks that this only lasts about 15 minutes every night. I could watch forever. Really sucks. So much.

She gazed at the water until it was no longer visible. Once it was dark, she just listened.

Katie was just about to give up on the air-conditioner when she felt a cold spurt of air hit her face. She excitedly turned the vents to face her and let the air turn her sweat from hot and sticky to cool and sticky.

The humidity made it unbearable to be outdoors. But, she’d prefer to drive in the hot sun rather than in the rain any day. People drive so fast when it rains.

Forty minutes to go. A black Mercedes flew by so fast she almost didn’t recognize what kind of car it was. She looked at her speedometer--84. Damn. He’s going at least 95.

She approached the underpass leading off US 23 to I- 270, the belt around Columbus. She looked over her right shoulder and rolled her eyes as the Columbus traffic came at her from the right. But she was ready to attack from the left. She sped up and managed to squeeze in between two Explorers who were reluctant to let her in just before her lane ran out of space. The four cars behind her halted, unable to get into the mess of cars.

She gripped her steering wheel tightly, beginning her journey from the far left lane to the far right. It always amazed her how people drove so fast in the lane she was in, and so slow in the far right. It’s almost like each lane has it’s own speed limit. A gap between a Geo Prism and a Toyota slipped away. She left her blinker on and found another space between a Maxima and Jeep. Okay Kate, one more to go, she thought while accelerating past a gray Cadilac and into the exit lane leading to 315N.

She exhaled for what felt like the first time since getting off 23. That highway is just ridiculously complicated. It was usually an easy drive from here on. She took her next exit and pulled into a gas station, filled up her tank, and went inside to pay.

Once inside, her eyes never reached eye level. A man walking quickly toward the cashier cut her off and stepped on her foot. "Ouch," she said as he turned around and looked at her disapprovingly. He didn’t even apologize. How rude.

He left hurriedly as she paid and went outside. The man ran across the gas station, making his way to his car, a black Mercedes. Katie smiled to herself, his personality fits his driving. She opened the door to her Buick, got in, and turned it on. Damn, the air-conditioner’s out again. She rolled her window down, then reached for her seatbelt when a powerful force jolted her against the door. At first, she didn’t realize what happened. Her head and neck began to throb. Katie opened her eyes cautiously and realized that her car was no longer positioned in line with the gas pumps.

She released the not-yet-fastened seat belt from her hand and slowly opened her door. A gray haired man told her not to move and to relax. Somebody hit me. Betsy’s right tail end had been hit by a black Mercedes. The man in the business suit got out and started screaming. It was a minute before his words began to register. "Clumsy teenagers, I don’t have time for this. Why don’t you pay attention? I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear about this..." his words faded in and out while Katie slowly regained her composure. People had gathered around watching the man rant about his schedule and yell at Katie while she watched him in wonder. They all saw what he did. Why aren’t they saying?

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked angrily.

"Like what," Katie replied meekly, then her eyes opened wider and her gaze changed from embarrassment to anger. "Do you mean why am I letting you yell at me and whine when you didn’t even ask to see how I was? Or maybe you’re getting a look of confusion since you’re the one who hit my car while I was still in park. Ask any of the people standing around, they’re probably wondering where you get off yelling at me since they don’t feel like saying it themselves. Or maybe it’s the fact that you’re crying over the way teenagers drive when this was your fault and you’re going to be late for a meeting because of your own carelessness." Katie stopped for a moment, surprised that the words in the air came from her own mouth.

The man glared at her in fury. "Don’t you speak that way to me," he barked.

"I am not a kid buddy. I take care of myself. You can’t intimidate me by bringing up parents," she said angrily.

A woman from the crowd stepped up to him, "Sir, you need to calm down and let this young lady see if she’s okay."

The man in the suit looked at Katie for a few more seconds, then walked back toward his car. Katie’s legs began to quiver under her as she found Betsy to hold her up. She was breathing very hard and her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her skin and bounce along the ground. "What a jerk" she said in a low voice. Katie, you’re going to be fine. She took a deep breath while watching the man pace back and forth anxiously.

A man and woman were asking her questions, but she couldn’t focus on their words. Voices were fading in and out. I can handle this.