Rain

The rain slowly smoothed the natural creases in her hair. Landing on the top of her head first, rhythmically working its way down the thick locks, and eventually leaving thinner strands flat against her face. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and looked up toward the sky. Heaven. Her breathing continued to slow--as the cold, fat droplets of water came to an abrupt halt when they met her face. She opened her mouth and tilted her head further back, letting her tongue hang freely from its haven. Some of the drops fell from her tongue and landed on her chin before trickling down her neck. She giggled as this sensation felt like someone barely touching her chin and gently brushing a finger down the long of her neck until it found her soaking sweatshirt.

"Dinah what are you doing out here? Come inside, you’re soaked," he said as the ground under her knees trembled followed by the bright lights of what looked like 100 cameras flashing at the same time.

Dinah sighed deeply, annoyed at the interruption. He’s so uptight. She waited a few seconds before responding, "Jason...I’m having a moment. I’ll be in later," she said in a firm, calm tone that didn’t want to be hassled.

"This is ridiculous--come inside right now," he demanded, as though he was suddenly so concerned with her well-being.

Please don’t ruin this for me. Deep sigh. "Jason, go the hell away. I am content and you have no right to interrupt me--go home, go inside, just go somewhere," she said without looking in his direction. She heard the slam of the screen door and allowed a satisfied smirk appear on her face before splashing stomps made their way toward her. She felt a powerful thud between her hands as Jason knocked her basketball from her hands in one swift motion, breaking her trance as the ball bounced away.

Dinah’s eyes opened, then made their way back down from the sky and toward the eyes nuisance. When her glare found his condescending face she waited for him to speak. "You’re so fucking weird, get up and get in the house," he stated knowingly.

"Jason, am I bothering you?"

"No, but-"

"But what, you have nothing better to do?"

"I just thought-"

"You thought what, that you have some obligation to keep me dry? Or that I need someone to hold my hand and walk me inside? Who are You?"

"What?"

"You heard me, who are you?"

"You expect me to answer that?"

"I said who ARE you!"

"Do you treat all your relatives this way?" he said, trying to make some sense of the situation he put himself in.

"No. Only the ones that feel they can jump into my life and order me around without knowing anything about me or caring enough to ask," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Your family got here two days ago and you haven’t said three words to me, so don’t think because you’re older, or in college, or anything else that may have crossed your mind, gives you any authority over me," she stated coolly.

Jason’s face shifted an inch upward. Raindrops were wedging themselves between the creases in his forehead and streaming down the sides of his face. Standing as though trying to apprehend everything his sixteen year old cousin just threw at him. Watching as she held out her now empty arms and re-tilted her head back. The rain continued to pour down on her, and she smiled back at it. Her long brown hair was pasted to her skin and neck. The light gray Boston College sweatshirt was three shades darker now. What is she doing?

The splashing stomps passed her and turned into dull, wet stomps. He must be in the grass. The wet stomps changed back to splashing stomps as they made their way back toward her.

"Here’s your ball," he said apologetically, holding it out toward her.

She opened her eyes and took it from him.

"What are you doing out here like this?" he asked as his eyebrows formed a dripping wet upside-down V.

Dinah looked up at him, taking her time to answer. She appeared as though searching for the right words, trying to articulate a feeling she wasn’t sure existed.

"What are you passionate about?" she asked, waiting just long enough for the question to register in his mind, but not long enough to let him answer. She continued, "I get lost sometimes, you know, numb. Pause. Do you ever feel like you just need to be outside in the cold winter rain? Of course you don’t, she said and hesitated for a minute.

"Anyway, it’s so easy to get caught up in routine. Before you know it you start doing things without thinking, everything becomes mechanical. I hate that, even though it happens all the time. The scariest part is that you don’t even realize it. My point is that sometimes I just need to feel like I’m alive, and that I’m not a part of everyone else’s world. I need this. I need the cold rain to penetrate my skin, when I can feel that, then everything’s different," she said as though it finally made sense once she said it out loud.

Jason stared at her. She lifted one knee off the ground and squished her weight onto her left foot before squishing onto the second. The five feet between them were dominated by puddles. He still hadn’t responded when she lifted her arms straight into the air and slammed the basketball down between them drenching, both their legs.

Dinah laughed as her muddy knees released brown stripes down her shins.