A Tranquil Moment (A Continuation of the Frankie Story)

After lying in bed for a long while, I realized I wasn’t really asleep. I’d been staring at the wall for nearly an hour, in some sort of comatose vegetable-like state, oblivious of the world around me. It occurred to me that I might be dead.

When I tried to move my arm, it wouldn’t budge. My entire body was stuck to the bed, refusing to give the tiniest fraction of an inch. I began screaming and realized I wasn’t breathing. In fact, no sound at all came out, and my head was buried deep into the pillow. Panicked, I began heaving my body from side to side, desperate to knock myself out of bed. I finally managed to flip myself a few feet across the mattress, then rolled onto the cold wood floor.

It might have hurt, had sleep not encompassed my body. I committed myself to spending a few more minutes on the floor while I waited for my limbs to come back to life. First I felt the numb tingles, then the sharp pains alternating with a sort of tickly feeling. At last, I gained my composure and stood up. It was a completely failed effort; my legs had tricked me, and I came crashing back down to the hard ground. I could almost feel my face making imprints in the rug.

"Ouch," I yelped to no one in particular.

I decided to crawl to the bathroom. It was no easy task, since the room was completely black.

When I felt the chilly square tiles under my hands, I reached for the wash cabinet. Then I pulled myself up to the sink and shifted my weight forward. I pushed deep into the porcelain sink with my left hand, twisted my hips to the side, and grasped for the light switch with my right hand.

A few desperate fumbles later, the room was flooded with light. It was too bright for my tired red eyes. And I knew they were red, because they felt dry and ached from deep inside.

Releasing myself from the sink, I turned around and dimmed the light. I walked back into my room and started searching for a matchbook. I stubbed my little toe on the corner of my futon.

"Shit!" I squealed, before making the required "Haahhhh" sounds and jumping around until the pain subsided.

I sat on the edge of my papazon chair and waited for my toe to go completely numb. While I waited, I discovered a book of matches on the end table beside me.

I walked across the room to my bookshelf and selected the palest candle. It was a body therapy "Magnolia" candle, melted into a silver metal tin. A few matches were permanently embedded in the ivory wax. I lit the candle and decided to take a tub.

As I turned toward the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of my silhouette in the mirror. With the help of the flicker from the candle, I could see my shadow dancing on the wall above me. Immediately I started swirling around the room, staying close to the mirror so I could see the reflection. It was so beautiful in the candlelight, with my short silky hot pink gown flowing about my waist and twirling in a circle when I spun quickly. The high-cut sides revealed my long sinewy legs. I flexed them and stood on my toes, admiring my lean muscles. Then, with my back to the mirror, I pulled my arms to the sides and into a biceps curl, flexing my strong back muscles. Pleased with my progress from the pilates sessions, I decided a relaxing bath would indeed make a nice reward. Quickly I untied the loophole at the top of my gown, slid the straps over my shoulders, and watched it slink down my body and collapse to a pile on the floor. I stepped out of the gown, watching as it slid off my ankles.

In the bathroom once again, I plugged the drain and turned on the water in the tub. When I heard the pipes begin heating, I reached into the water and adjusted the temperature. I grabbed two towels, one to hang over the top of the frosted glass shower wall, the other to lean against in the deep square sanctuary. I stepped into the shower and lowered my body into the water. The magnolia-scented candle flickered softly and teased the shadows on the ceiling.

Leaning against the towel at one end of the tub, I closed my eyes and propped my feet on the opposite wall. When I felt my legs getting goose bumps, I lowered them slowly into the water, concentrating on the rippling sound. I opened my eyes, turned one knee inward and watched the circular patterns travel across the surface of the water. Pushing both knees upward, I watched as large drops of water scattered sideways and turned to tiny drops before evaporating. I did this a few times, trying to figure out where the water was going. Then I dipped my arms into the warm water and watched the gentle ripples. I must have done this for a few minutes, until I rocked myself to sleep in the steamy shower. The nap couldn’t have lasted too long; when I awoke the water was still tepid. I felt satisfied and my head was clear. The water, the still air and the soft hum of the heater made me feel at ease. I felt innocent and child-like, free of clutter for the first time since I’d left home.

A few minutes later, I felt a presence in the room. It was a mild and sweet force, that floated with me out of the tub and into the bed. I climbed in naked and curled up under the cool sheets to generate heat. I felt something scoop me up and hold me. Whatever the force, it was protecting me, providing a shield against the cruel unforgiving world around me. Content, I fell asleep again, until I was awakened by a knock at the door.

"MMMmmph," I grumbled and rolled over.

This time the knock was louder.

"Who is it?" I growled.

No answer. Then, more knocking.

"Dammit," I snapped, sitting up in the bed. "Who IS it?" I screamed loudly.

"It’s Frankie. Can I come in?" he asked.

"Oh, um, Frankie? Hold on a minute," I told him. I grabbed my bright red kimono and tied the obi around my waist. I swiftly twisted my hair into a pile on top of my head and fastened it with a clip. I thought I must have looked like a Geisha.

When I opened the door, Frankie stood in the doorway, staring at me and shaking his head.

My first thought was that he knew about Ray, and I was in for a scolding. I braced myself for what was going to happen next.

"What happened to you?" he asked me. "I looked all over for you, and someone finally told me you went home. I missed you ," he told me, his large brown eyes peering at me quizzically, then looking past me to the bed. He must have thought I left the party with someone else.

"You passed out. I tucked you in and went home," I lied.

Frankie leaned toward me and pulled me in for a long kiss.

"You look beautiful," he said, and kissed me again.

It was clear to me he didn’t know about my episode in the bathroom or my run-in with Redhead.

"I’m so glad you’re here. I was thinking about you earlier. Are you staying?"

"If ya want me to. Listen, Gina, I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t know it was laced. I thought you might be mad at me."

"Me? Mad? Of course not! Are you mad at me?" I asked him, trying one more time to find out if he knew anything.

"Now why would I be mad at you? You certainly couldn’t have known what you were doing this evening. How’d ya get home anyway?" he asked.

"Gabe walked me. I was feeling a little strange earlier, and I’m not sure what happened. The drugs made me feel a little fuzzy and blurry. I hope I didn’t do anything stupid," I said, feeling him out again for any knowledge of the evening’s unfortunate interlude.

"Wow, you really are something else," Frankie praised me. He pushed a stray lock of hair off my face and leaned in for another kiss. I turned my head, and he kissed me on the cheek.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

"Are you sure you’re not mad?"

"Gina! Honestly! What’s wrong with you?" he scolded.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I guess I’m just a little off balance from the drugs. I am glad you’re here," I said.

This time I let Frankie put his arms around me and hold me tight. We sunk into the papazon chair and giggled about the joint we’d smoked with his friends. I told him about my bath, my serenity and clarity in the water, and the presence that cradled me in the bed. He explained to me that sometimes when you do just the right amount of drugs and just the right mix, you can achieve a sort of nirvana-like state. Of course, he warned, it can backfire and be a completely awful experience, too. We decided I must have had one of those Great Realizations. The kind you get when you’re deep into a mind trip and ascertain one of the great secrets of life. For a while we pondered what might have transpired in the bathtub. Neither of us came up with anything concrete, except that maybe it was some sort of guardian angel watching over me.

I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew it was comforting and probably held some sort of deep meaning. What, I couldn’t say, but I felt safe at the time, just as I felt now in Frankie’s arms.

I nestled my head into his soft chest. He unfastened my clip and tousled my hair. While he was stroking my cheek, we fell asleep, and I dreamed that Frankie and I had become one.