"Talking about money is one of the last taboo subjects in the American culture," said Celia Hayhoe, assistant professor of family studies in UK's College of Human Environmental Sciences. "Our feelings and reasonings about our purchases are especially taboo. We don't like to be questioned about them."

Working out good family finances is not only important to the success of the family, but also to the betterment of communities, something Gov. Paul Patton recently recognized by declaring Nov. 15-19 Family Week in Kentucky.

Hayhoe said making sure money woes won't ruin a marriage or family has to start before the marriage. Couples planning to marry should tackle the subject, address their monetary concerns and iron out how money will be handled and used.

"It can be a very sensitive subject, so it is important to talk about each person's financial ability and expectations and understand why those are important to each person," Hayhoe said.

The necessity in looking to the roots of monetary preferences is illustrated by the example of a woman who would become very angry any time her husband asked to see the checkbook in order to balance it. The couple sought help before their marriage fell apart.

"It turned out she was angry with her father," Hayhoe said. "He has always told her what to do with her money, lectured her and picked on her."

Hayhoe said couples also should decide from the beginning if they will consolidate finances or not. Often men will prefer to consolidate, while women prefer keeping money separate. If "one pot" is opted for, be sure to determine who will track the accounts, balance ledgers and pay bills. For "two pot" families, decide how bills will be paid. Another option is the "three pot" family with each adult keeping separate accounts and contributing to a common "pot" for expenses.

"Whatever you do, talk about it and make sure each person is comfortable with what is decided," Hayhoe said.

Important in the "one pot" household is making sure each individual has access to money either through allowances or talking about expenditures.

"Each person needs some kind of allowance and some sort of control over their money," Hayhoe said. "They shouldn't have to ask someone's permission every time the want to spend money."

"Two pot" families need to be careful in assigning bill responsibility. Bills shouldn't be split evenly, but rather based on the ability of each person to cover them.

When a family includes children, getting them involved also can be a good idea. Older children, especially, need to learn the responsibility and consequences associated with money, and their input can make some situations easier.

"It is a lot easier to say, 'No, we can't afford that,' when the child has been in on the planning and understands why we can't afford that," Hayhoe said.

One of the biggest stressors on family life, Hayhoe said, is running out of money or not saving enough. Learning to live on less can ease that problem.

"Young couples, especially, want to start out where their parents are at 50," Hayhoe said. "Many people rack up debt because offers can be so enticing. But when you add up all the payments, you're in trouble. And when you save for emergencies or that anniversary cruise, don't touch it until it's time. We can all live on less."

By genuinely talking through financial matters, couple and families can avoid misery and disaster, Hayhoe said. In the meantime, they probably will find another bonus.

"The things that keep a family strong financially are the same things that keep it strong in other areas – good communication and understanding."