UKAT 1999-2000 ACF

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Season Totals
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Kelly 54 446 87 5.13 74.54
Robert 20 70 13 5.38 31.75
Neal 54 136 28 4.86 22.59
Thomas 33 70 7 10.00 20.15
Steven R. 34 73 14 5.21 19.41
Scrotch 46 51 4 12.75 10.65
Michael 64 84 34 2.47 10.47
Kim 35 38 10 3.80 9.43
Dana 11 5 1 5.00 4.09
Lou 23 11 7 1.57 3.26




Chattanooga Center of the Known Universe II, Team Mirthless Laughter of the Damned
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Kelly 10 64 15 4.27 56.50
Robert 10 31 4 7.75 29.00
Michael 10 9 5 1.80 6.50
Lou 10 7 5 1.40 4.50


Chattanooga Center of the Known Universe II, Team Goat Porn
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Steven R. 11 34 10 3.40 26.36
Neal 11 25 7 3.57 19.55
Scrotch 11 11 1 11.00 9.55
Dana 11 5 1 5.00 4.09

Wow! What a way to open the year! The A team consisting of Kelly, Robert, Michael, and Lou managed to take 2nd place, falling only to Maryland in full round robin field play. Our B team also excelled, finishing with a 6-5 record. We are very pleased, given that we had two rookies and one inexperienced player under Neal's guidance, and that the team was very unbalanced with regard to subject material. Kelly roped in a fourth place Div I all-star award, while Steven Richardson received the Rookie award for being the highest scoring player attending his first ACF tournament. Some of the highlights of this tournament include Neal's awesome CD-R recordings, the suspicious happenings in a BP bathroom ("Someone else is in here!"), seeing the NADS infomercial, John Nam's interrupt answer of "Crapper," and obviously, our excellent finish. Lowlights are few in number, including a sudden string of incompetence and stupidity by Robert and Kelly, and the poor performance in subjects lacking on each team. In the "Weird Stuff" column we can mention Scrotch's smoking brakes, apparently because of a bad spindle, that required him to stay overnight in the northern Tennessee hamlet of Caryville while the seven remaining members piled into Neal's battleship of a car for the ride home. What a way to start the year...



Georgia Tech Heinrich Bowl
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Kelly 9 85 13 6.54 87.22
Neal 9 11 2 5.50 11.11
Michael 9 7 4 1.75 5.56

Due to schedule conflicts and money problems, a pared-down team consisting of Michael, Neal, and Kelly travelled to Georgia Tech to take part in Heinrich Boll, finishing in a tie for 2nd with Cornell at 12-2 (although we would have won the tournament if not for a blatent hose in our match with Cornell). Congratulations are in order for the Georgia Tech team for a well-run tournament, featuring (in our opinion) the best cast of readers in the country. Highlights include Kelly's 2nd place All-Star award, the universal praise heaped upon our packet, getting to hang out with Matt Colvin (a treat for any hardcore ACFer), and listening to Neal bake in the back of Michael's car. The only real lowlights were the aforementioned hose and an "ACF" packet which was conspicuously low on academic content.



UT-Chattanooga Sword Bowl 2000, A Team
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Thomas 10 37 1 37.00 36.50
Neal 10 35 7 5.00 31.50
Steven R. 10 28 1 28.00 27.50


UT-Chattanooga Sword Bowl 2000, B Team
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Michael 11 25 9 2.78 18.64
Kim 11 22 5 4.40 17.73
Scrotch 11 20 1 20.00 17.73

The Academic Team was fortunate enough to have many new members this year making this "junior bird" tournament immensely enjoyable. Thomas, Neal, and Steven R. made it to the playoffs where they defeated the University of the South but lost a shootout to the same team, leaving them in third place (but not before another shootout and an unpleasant encounter with an individual who can only be described as too friendly for her own good). Lowlights: Extremely foul weather on the way home caused a car accident and we experienced some rare (who are we kidding) bickering amongst ourselves. Highlights: Feats of Strength.



ACF Regionals at UT-Chattanooga
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Kelly 10 70 11 6.37 64.50
Robert 10 39 9 4.33 34.50
Thomas 10 5 2 2.50 4.00
Michael 10 3 1 3.00 2.50

This tournament showed a lot of promise of being the most rewarding experience of the year, but the manner in which it ended really sucked. The preliminary rounds were standard, old-school ACF and we greatly enjoyed them. But for some reason the playoff rounds were written by Wichita State and Case Western Reserve. Wichita packets are known for being a little bit cheesy, but they managed to put together an acceptable packet for the purpose. CWR's packet totally sucked, however. We congratulate them on wasting everyone's time. Every playoff team was furious over this incident (and rightly so). Just another in a long, sad line of bad CWR question sets. We managed to take third place (read: got screwed out of first), and Kelly got the third place all-star and was the highest scorer outside one-man teams. Highlights include the non-playoff games, listening to Chris Rock tell it like it is, repeated conversations about a certain someone, and Thomas' emergency pants surgery using a paper clip. Lowlights: the coat hanger abortion ending of the tournament and Kelly getting called a prick by someone angry over his "biased" packet (A packet that was praised by the national editor and tournament director, so squirt us some tears, old dude).



Washington University KICK:ASS, Kentucky Skullduggery (Div I)
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Kelly 13 113 22 5.14 78.46
Steven R. 13 11 3 3.67 7.31
Scrotch 13 8 1 8.00 5.77
Lou 13 4 2 2.00 2.31


Washington University KICK:ASS, Kentucky Jejune (Div II)
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Thomas 13 28 4 7.00 20.00
Neal 13 28 7 4.00 18.85
Michael 13 15 6 2.50 9.23
Kim 13 5 2 2.50 3.08

The UKAT fielded a Div I and Div II team for their first trek to St. Louis. In Div I, where Kelly was kept company by the Steven Richardson, Scrotch, and Lou, the team performed very well, finishing in second place at 12-2, with both losses coming to recent NAQT National Champs Illinois. In Div II, the team of Neal, Thomas, Michael, and Kim started the day very well, knocking off some experienced Div I teams. However, the second half of the tournament did not go as well due to a series of packets which did not go their way, and they eventually ended up losing the Div II championship match for a second place finish. The highlights were Roger and company's excellent questions and reading corps, the aforementioned second place finishes, Kelly's MVP award, the first recorded utterance of "I hate Lou!", Michael's virtuoso skill with directions (for example, the realization that when looking for your hotel, you should make sure you are in the right state), a downed Cessna, and "The Mighty Mo." Lowlights include a series of mumblings from a certain back seat passenger and one of Lou's interminable jokes which seemed to involve at least 13 different characters.



Tennessee-Chattanooga Moon Pie Classic 2000, Div I
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Kelly 12 114 26 4.38 84.17


Tennessee-Chattanooga Moon Pie Classic 2000, Div II
Player Games Tossups Interrupts TU/I PPG
Neal 11 37 5 7.40 31.36
Michael 11 25 9 2.78 18.64
Scrotch 11 12 1 12.00 10.45
Kim 11 11 3 3.67 8.64

Five members of the UKAT put their priorities in proper order and travelled to UTC to play in an ACF tournament on the weekend before finals. Unfortunately, Charlie Steinhice became quite ill the week of the tournament and was unable to perform his usual editing chores, leading to the use of about a half-dozen unedited packets from teams with little or no packet writing experience, resulting in a rather uneven tournament (but to UTC's credit, they held the tournament together nonetheless). To allow the Div II players to all compete together, Kelly braved Div I as a one player team, and went undefeated on the good packets early in the day. However, a combination of bad packets and tough competition later in the day led to a 7-5 finish. The Div II team of Neal, Michael, Kim, and Scrotch also had an up and down day, finishing up (I think) 6-5. Highlights include Kelly's MVP award, a nearly disastrous toss of a Moonpie, Neal's chemistry jokes, and an incredibly accurate Hangman answer, while lowlights included the previously mentioned string of unedited packets and forgetting who Sibyl Vane is on tossup 20 of a 5-point game.