Trustees Approve Emergency Top 20 Basketball Plan

By Michael Evans
Senior Sports, Adventure and Merrymaking Correspondent

LEXINGTON, Ky- In a rushed but expected move after the Alabama game, UK’s board of trustees approved an emergency plan to return the Wildcats to the forefront of college basketball.

“We felt it was time to step in and make a difference,” said board member Jeffrey Dembo, one of several who voted enthusiastically for the plan. “We’re all proud of this university and are committed to helping it achieve its goals.” The board expressed great optimism about the top-20 plan, calling it “a light for the future.” President Todd is expected to make a statement next week outlining its particulars, but he has already revealed that the roadmap marks a groundbreaking alliance between athletics and academics at UK.

The plan comes after embarrassing losses to Alabama and perennial SEC power Vanderbilt. Despite an earlier string of victories, the season had started to grow bleak, prompting University officials to take action. On December 2, a loss to North Carolina at home booted the Cats out of the top 10 after a streak of 39 consecutive weeks among the nation’s best, and only days later the Cats were kicked out of the top 25 for the first time since 2001 by Indiana.

Although UK racked up victories against the legendary trifecta of Iona, Ohio, and Central Florida and returned for a time to the AP’s top 20, critics are hailing the end of the Cats as we know them, calling the top-20 ranking “ephemeral.” Some have even suggested ousting celebrated coach Orlando “Tubby” Smith.

“Coach Smith is an embarrassment to this institution,” said Integrated Strategic Communication freshman Jim Roberts. “I just don’t think the man conducts himself in a manner becoming of a top-20 university.”

Others have expressed doubts that the top-20 plan is even viable. “These days it’s so difficult for a university like UK to distinguish itself,” said accounting sophomore Mark Jamison, apparently ignoring UK’s seven national titles. “I just don’t see a place in the top 20 for us, with all the great schools out there.” University officials dismiss such pessimism however and point to UK’s rich history and undying spirit as support for the plan.

Said Dembo in his closing remarks, “We owe this to past and future generations of UK alumni, and damn it, we’re going to deliver.”

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