Americans Express Solidarity with Iraqi People with Purple Fingers, Mutilated Limbs

By Raabia Wazir
An American Who Understands What You’re Going Through

SPOTTSVILLE, Ky - On December 15th, millions of Iraqis sported a purple-dyed finger after they voted to elect a new government under the constitution they approved in an October referendum. From December 12 to 15th, thousands of freedom-loving Americans expressed solidarity with Iraqis by similarly dyeing their right index fingers with purple ink. The scheme was concocted by radio-host Bill Bennett of Morning in America and gained remarkable momentum in the following weeks. Members of Congress were asked to follow suit by Representatives Jim Marshall (D-GA), Duncan Hunter (R-CA) and Ike Skelton (D-MO) who led the distribution of ink pads to the House and Senate.

Not to be outdone, Americans who love freedom even more began to mutilate their limbs, torture family members, destroy precious antiques, and bomb local hospitals and schools in an attempt to express their more intense or “x-treme” solidarity with the Iraqi people.

“Hey, man,” says Josh Anderson, 33, of Cynthiana, “I want the Iraqis to know I’m right there with them in that poll booth and on the street when that fighting breaks out and when their infrastructure is down the tubes. I’m right there with them.” Anderson has amputated his right arm below the shoulder and his left foot at the ankle. Both stumps have been dipped in purple ink.

Jenny Lambert, 28, is a magnetic-ribbon merchant in Morehead. During the course of her pregnancy, she has been intentionally neglecting her own health care and that of her unborn child. When asked to explain her behavior, she tells reporters, “I just love democracy … so much!”

Unfortunately, such heroic and deeply moving acts are largely lost on the Iraqi public, who overwhelmingly voted to kick the American-installed government out of Iraq in this election. When informed of the situation in America, Iraqi citizens respond much like Jamal Hassan. The 48-year-old farmer was reduced to tears. “I’ve always felt a presence here, through all the bloodshed and carnage. I used to think it was some divine being, an angel, watching me and my family. But to think, it might have been American Senator Bill Frist all along. Oh, Allah!”

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