"I would only believe in a god who could dance. And when I saw my devil I found him serious, thorough, profound, and solemn: it was the spirit of gravity - through him all things fall. Not by wrath does one kill but by laughter. Come, let us kill the spirit of gravity!"
-Friedrich Nietzsche

The Colonel is an independent student-run satire publication at the University of Kentucky founded in 2004 that seeks to scrutinize local, state, national and international policymaking through a brutally honest and sometimes irreverent voice. As much as anything else, The Colonel seeks to question the assumptions upon which political discourse is built and so we refuse to be bounded by the shackles of propriety. Consequently, though The Colonel was inspired by our sympathy for the left, we have no intention of letting it become an apologist mouthpiece for the Democratic Party. It is necessarily an independent entity free of any political affiliation. In fact, the one theme that might unify its diverse array of pieces is the same one that Simpsons creator Matt Groening described as the principal motif of his classic animated series: a distrust of the people in power and their capacity to make decisions that are in the best interests of the people they represent.

Our mission then is a simple one. To borrow from noted philanthropist Ronald S. Lauder, we seek to traverse the twists and turns of the 21st century with a sheer, life-affirming audacity.

The content of this paper is Copyright © 2005 by The Colonel and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the express written consent of the authors. All previously copyrighted creations in this publication are copyrighted to the creators.