Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much ...Oscar Wilde

And when we still catch a cutthroat in these shining mountains, .......its not merely a fish we are holding--it is both a poem and a living piece of history.....Ernest Schwiebert

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2. Advising the President.
3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
...David Letterman

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen ...Ambrose Bierce

Boundary Line. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another ...Ambrose Bierce

Don't worry about temptation -- as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. ..Old Farmer's Almanac

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again...F.P. Jones

Fishing, if I a fisher may protest,
Of pleasures in the sweetest, of sports the best,
Of recreations the most innocent.
But now the sport it marde, and wott ye why?
Fishes decrease, and fishers multiply.
...... Thomas Bastard, Chrestoleros, 1598

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off...Johnny Carson

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

The "Fly Fishing Catch and Release Only" sign will be the finest epitaph that I can have in that far off time when I will have fished formy last trout and fired my last shell.........Jack (John H.N.) Hemingway.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices...William James

He hasn't a single redeeming vice...Oscar Wilde

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally...W.C. Fields

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants...A. Whitney Brown

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members...Groucho Marx

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base...Dave Barry

If brains were that important, God would have made more libraries than bars.........unidentified County DJ.

If we resist our passions, it is due more to their weakness than our own strength...Duc de la Rochefoucauld.........................BS

If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing...Kingsley Amis

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man...Mark Twain

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me...Hunter S. Thompson

In Haig-Brown, fishing rises to the level of pure literature. His works are destined to be remembered not only simply as books on fishing, but almost in spite of their being books about fishing ..... Arnold Ginrich RHB introduction, FFF Conclave 1967 Jackson, WY

I saw very clearly how far I had to go to become a really good fly-fisherman. But I relished the challenge. And still do......Jimmy Carter

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers...A Bit of Fry and Laurie

It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong ---but that is the way to bet...Damon Runyon

It pleases me to have lived long enough to see catch-and-release accepted as a valuable conservation tool and its use widespread enough to build back stocks and give pleasure to many more fishermen.....Lee Wulff.

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world...Dave Barry

Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axion: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, aproximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.

Like most of those who study history, he (Napoleon III) learned from the mistakes of the past how to make new ones...A.J.P. Taylor

Madness takes its toll, please have exact change

Man has been given the power to change the face of the earth. Must he change that wonderful face into a painful scowl? ...Ray Ovington

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house ...George Carlin

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled ...Plutarch

My opinions have changed, but not the fact that I am right ...Ashleigh Brilliant

My sole aim and intention has been to elevate the black bass as a game-fish, and to provide suitable tackle for its pursuit and capture, and to inculcate a more healthful and humane and gentlemanly spirit among anglers ..........James Henshall, 1881

"Nature's balance is a neverending series of compensating catastrophies"... Hugh Raup.........BS

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow ...Mark Twain

Nihil sciri potest, ne id ipsum quidem...ME

No one recovers from the disease of being born, a deadly wound if there ever was one...E.M. Cioran

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease." Disraeli replied, "That all depends, Sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad ...Salvador Dali

On one occasion a student burst into his office. "Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this F you've given me." To which Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award."

The prick of a hook, a few minutes of dancing on the end of a line, the gentle handing of a skillful release, will not kill creatures designed to survive the batterings of a dangerous lifetime.....Roderick L. Haig-Brown.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger...Mark Twain

This sigline is umop ap!sdn.............MW

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.

Smoked carp tastes just as good as smoked salmon when you ain't got no smoked salmon.... Patrick F. McManus.

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps ...Emo Phillips

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." ...Charlie Brown

The sum of the whole is this; walk and be happy; walk and be healthy.
The best way to lengthen our days is to walk steadily and with a purpose
...Charles Dickens...BH

There is no country in the world in which everything can be provided for by the laws, or in which political institutions can prove a substitute for common sense and public morality. .....Alexis De Tocqueville

There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness...H.L. Mencken

The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected....MW

We have not succeeded in answering all your problems. The answers we have found only serve to raise a whole set of new questions. In most ways, we are as confused as ever, but we believe we are confused on a higher level and about more important things.
- Dr. G. Kincaid's perspective on research.....DH

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore... Mark Twain

What is a committee?
A group of the unwilling,
picked from the unfit,
to do the unnecessary.

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?" ...Quentin Crisp

With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster 13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress...Ransom K. Ferm

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

You need a busload of faith to get by...Lou Reed..........GK