Feedback for Workshop: Essay #1

1. Please read the essay through twice: first, without a pen, getting a feel for the piece; second, with a pen, marking passages you like, passages you have concerns about, noting questions in the margins, and making small grammatical corrections / suggestions. (Remember, your job as a reviewer is to talk about “big picture” issues; you are not to simply serve as an editor or grammar check.)

2. Then compose a ½ -1 page letter to the author, single-spaced, in response to the essay. Begin with overall impressions and move to smaller concerns. Also please try to include positive comments—things that are working—as well as constructive criticism—things that can use work. You’ll want to address the following issues within your letter (in whatever order you find most useful):

§ Voice / tone: Can you get a sense of this writer through a distinct voice? How would you describe the voice of this writer? Is the tone appropriate and effective? Give examples.

§ Detail: Does the writer provide sufficient details to describe this place? Do you get a sense of what it is like to be at this place, i.e. what the people there talk about or don’t talk about, what they do, what their attitudes are like, etc? What else would you like to know?

§ Style: What comments can you make about the author’s writing style? Does s/he use appropriate and effective word choice? Are the sentences smooth and readable? Did you ever stumble while reading or misunderstand a passage? Give examples.

§ Structure and Depth: How would you describe the structure of this piece, i.e. how does it develop? Is this an effective structure (look at beginning, progression, ending)? Does the writer effectively incorporate and interpret STORIES to demonstrate some sort of meaning? Are there important underlying questions that drive this piece, and are those questions important for others? WHAT ARE THOSE QUESTIONS? Are there spots where you want the author to “dig” down and explore certain issues raised? Do you feel a sense of “discovery” in the writer, or does the essay appear flat, i.e. that the writer has simply proved what s/he set out to prove?

§ Quotes: Does the writer effectively incorporate at least one outside source into the narrative? Do those sources feel relevant, or interruptive? Does the writer work to connect the outside material with his/her own experience?

Please do not simply answer all these questions! Address only the facets you find most important to the discussion of this piece, and feel free to make other comments that do not necessarily fit into these categories.

Don’t forget to sign your letter!

Please bring your marked copy of the essay as well as 2 COPIES of your letter to class on Wednesday (one for me, one for peer.) See you then!